What does it mean to be used by God?

What does it mean to be used by God? Does it mean you are used to serve in church, playing musical instruments, washing cups, ushering, collecting the offering, available to take up chores and organize things or events?
How simple my thoughts were. I’ve just peeked into the tip of it and no, being there to serve God means being ready to be used by Him, especially in the people ministry. It means being ready to go into the lives of people where He places us to them, to touch them, to let them see Him in us.
Oh, how simple it looks on paper without the complications of the human emotions and feelings.
In reality for example, placed in a relationship for 2 years only to have it end because you’ve served your purpose in that person’s life. Relatively simple, everybody moves on. Oh, but the heart wrenching tears and memories that goes on in the turmoil at the end. But the season is over. It’s time to move on. Been used by God for a purpose. It hurts, no doubt about it. Even though sometimes in fact most of the time I don’t seem to understand His ways and how He does things, it’s what I said I’ll do. I said I’ll serve Him, didn’t I? I know even in the darkest moments, amidst the torrent of tears, He says He never leaves me. To quote a friend, “Prepare me for rain, even though I do not understand Your ways.”
He lets me make my own decisions. He's there beside me. I looked at Him with teary eyes, unsure whether the decision I made is right, even though knowing that the higher percentage was that it's wrong, He knows it too. But He says, let's walk. I know the decision you made, but I will go through it with you, I won't leave. Come, let's walk...

KLCC

A view of KLCC from the insect's point of view. LOL...I feel so small staring up at it.

Rainy day at Geen Avenue

Taken in Green Avenue on a rainy cloudy Friday. How nice. The weather was so cooling. Just nice to snuggle up with a nice cup of hot chocolate or coffee with a good book.

Gap Combo Gardens

Setting up started on the 24th od September. At least I know how to fold clothes with a folding board now. Lol, at least a little bit more consistent.

Fall 2007.

Check out the kid on the top right corner. Dozing happily while the parents shopped. By the way they were our very first customer!

On the 26th, The Gardens Midvalley officially opened their doors for business. They had troops of lion dances to commemorate the event.

Breakfast Dinner

The Western breakfast, my faourite meal of the day. As always, sunny side ups, sausages, cheese with toast, even some nuggets thrown in for good measure.
Dinner, where I fried chicken and fish for the first time, in KL. It was actually quite a lot for 2 people to consume. But nowadays any home cooked food is mostly welcome!

YA Cell Group

We meet every Wednesday, have good fun. And sometimes we give business to our friendly neighbourhood mamk stall.

Rain

The lashings of rain were unforgiving that night I went to "ta pao" food at this road side stall, which serves delicious Chinese stir fry. But the thing that caught me was the structured way the rain fell from the zinc roof.

Scabs

When does it end? When does those wounds heal? When does the scars fade?
You know those scabs you get when you hurt yourself and the skin’s healing? It forms a hard layer, which is termed, scab. It’s a really ugly thing, wrinkly like a dried prune, color of old, dried blood. But from young I’ve always had the habit of picking and picking and picking at it till it hurts like nobody’s business or it bleeds. Most often it’s both.
Now I seriously wonder if I treat my emotions’ well being the same. Reopen the wounds, never letting the fresh wounds heal completely. I’ve read it so many times and yet it hurts, more than the first time, if it’s possible.
I think I’ve let the wound fester and fester and fester till it’s become gangrene. I wish I could cut it off. But how can I live without a heart? Yet, how can I continue living with a lie, a heart that someone has elbowed its way in, yet doesn’t know it? I wish with every might that I could oust them out. But how?
O mighty God how?
*screams of enragement*

There, I guess I can’t very well do the scream of enragement thing publicly seeing I’m in the office and working. Everybody’ll be rushing for the phone, to call the police.

God' Training Programme

I read my daily devotion early this morning. It was titled “God’s training programme” and it was taken from Genesis when Jacob went in search of a wife from his mom’s brother. Then the story continues with how he was tricked into marrying the elder daughter and not the younger one whom he loved. He worked 14 years in all for both wives. Well, well…there was no law of polygamy during those days.
Anyway, I digress. It was actually talking about how God moulds someone’s character. I am feeling blue today even more so than yesterday. Time of the month and such…
But I know that it’s all part of life. Life can’t be smooth all the time. You see, there’s just this little problem. I know it doesn’t mean I feel it. Ah well…
Some soothing music, going to make me a cup of coffee with a dash of chocolate inside, probably makes the day a little more bearable :) It’s going to be interesting to participate in a “change-out” tonight, though I’m not super crazy about the idea. We start after 10pm. Anyhow, the term means to change a season like we’re changing from summer to fall now. So we have to rearrange the visual merchandising and stock to bring in the coming season.



On a beach, in the rising of the dawn, with the slightly chilly breeeze, i dream of watching these clouds with silver lining with the one that He knows I'm going to be with.


To watch it turn into fieriness as the glorious sun rose from it's slumber. We can only stand in awe. And watch this miracle which has been occuring from the beginning of time.

I was timidly approaching the Lord in a prayer for a parking space. When He provided I was surprise. I've not been communicating much with Him lately. So yes, I was surprised when he answered my prayer.

That almost brought the tears out. But I've realized that He still loves me like the loving daddy He always is. He's always loving, always providing. Even when we are disobedient and continues to defy Him. He patiently provides us grace and waits for us to turn back.

New workplace

First day of work, spent the day learning how to order stationeries ;) grins...I mean getting used to order the things that the stores and office needs to use. Then I got the warehouse experience. Ermm...with heels, it's definitely hazardous.
2nd day's slightly better, although I still spent the entire day in the warehouse, I was in comfortable flats and tshirt. We had to go prepare the outlet for sales. Didn't get home till midnight!
I was based in the store yesterday. Not too bad. Working tomorrow too. Sighh...ah well...the thing is, I kinda knew that it was gonna be working-my-ass-off job before I joined so I can't really give the excuse of not knowing. But at the moment, I miss my full weekends!

Esther yesterday

She's got a cute little bob now. Naughty as ever.

Brother's birthday

I was back the weekend of my brother's birthday, well a day after but we still celebrated it. The family went out for a scrumptious dinner at Ye Olde English in Greentown, Ipoh.
Mum and Grandpa had the mix grill of lamb, steak and prawns. The sauce was yummy. Sis as usual, spaghetti. Nothing to shout about. I had the grilled fish which was pretty satisfactory.
Check out my brother and my dad's pictures. Dad was staring boggle eyed at the camera in an attempt to diffuse my efforts to take a picture of him. Sorry dad, didn't work! I still got a pretty nce picture of you.

And my brother, turns 14 this year. Lol, I always do my best to fight with him. I mean, not literally, I'd be squashed flat by him. I just irritate him, squashing him against the wall, tickling him, mock punching. He's taller than me now. Shooting up to be a fine young man.

a little jerky

Ahh, life's little surprises, some more unpleasant than others.

Today started off as a pretty nice sunny morning. The sister and I was scheduled to go do something with our hair. So we set off about noon. It wasn't suppose to take too long. Then almost got a summon. A client called, while I was on the way out of the car park. I got spotted by a police car who was patrolling. He-llo?! I'm not working on Saturdays! And he called at about 5pm?! What nonsense?! Almost almost....sigh, I can only thank God they let me off, most of it due to my car number plate.

Now an argument with my date and broken promise to friends...what a day! Pretty pissed now

I don't want to be nice sometimes, do I get to be the shrew for one day pleaaase!!!???

If only I could keep my cool as well as the illusion that's portrayed above.

I like!

Read about this in Nightstar's blog, and it's so much fun. Lol, saves the bother of photoshopping ;)



Somebody called me this once. Can't quite seem to get it out of my head whenever the princess word flashes across my vision.

Dreams

I dream of the day when you stand beside me,
Worshipping our God,
I dream of the day you look down, smiling
at my drowsy face,
I dream of the day we walk, hand in hand
Along the seaside,
I dream of the day, warm in furs,
We take a picture, against the snowy landscape,
I dream of the day, we wear
Matching rings,
I dream of the day, you hold me
When I cry,
I dream of the day, you look at me
As I laugh up at you,
I dream of the day, we walk down
Our home's stairs together,
I dream of the day, we curl up
And listen to the thunderstorm outside,
I dream of the day, we tease each other,
As we wash up the dishes
I dream of the day, you eat my mediocre cooking,
But tell me it's the best you ever tasted,
I dream of the day, when you surprise me
By showing up unexpectedly at my doorstep,
I dream of the day, when you lower the temperature of the air conditioner,
Because you saw me rubbing my arms, as goosebumps rise,
I dream of the day, you tease me
About my ignorance,
I dream of the day, when we invite the Holy Spirit,
To preside over us and our household.

Was in Ipoh on Sunday, church service. Glanced out at the sky and it was threatening to pour. So dark. But I like the rain, especially when I'm safely cocooned in a building, lol. So I was praying for it to rain, rain, rain all the way to KL. Just till the evening though.
It has been so hot and stuffy in KL, hasn't rained for more than a week.
Well, true enough, it rained when we were on our way back to KL. And to confirm, a friend told us it rained cats and dogs in the afternoon.
Lol, I was laughing and telling my sister that, I had prayed for rain in KL when I was in KL but it didn't work. How come it worked when I was in Ipoh. She told me to go back more often to Ipoh ot pray haha.

Uncle Lim's at Time's Square. Their coffee is not too bad, a tad heavy handed on the milk. The bread is the good old Hainan type which I appreciate. The mushroom mee was average, though they do give a generous proportion of mushrooms. Not too bad overall. But if not for it's convenient location near the entrance, I probably wouldn't frequent it quite that often.

Was accompanying a friend to the hospital for her check-up. And to my surprise, there was a Starbucks Cafe in the hospital itself! Hmm, hospitals are cashing in on the cafe craze? Gleneagles has Dome Cafe, now Starbucks is looking for a place to go into?
But it made for a pleasant wait cos' we had our coffee fix while waiting for the results.

Just us sisters.